He didn't want her to be burdened by those dark thoughts even if they were most likely very real. After all the man held the empire in the palm of his hand even more so now that the Nobles had lost almost complete public support through their actions during the civil war. Frankly the only way it could have been worse for him was if he would be forced to take action against the remaining nobles as well since a lot of them were connected to people he knew after all. Thankfully Osborne had not done that and just used him to settle external problems while internally he had The IronBloods take care of things.

For now though he felt as if he was submerged in a dream. Right there with Alisa close enough to feel her warmth and just soak in her presence and even her scent. Every little thing about her was so soothing to his worn down heart.

"I already have more than I deserve right now." After all he was someone who robbed Crossbell of its freedom. Even if his actions had limited potential casualties it didn't change the fact that all those people had been put into the equivalent of a gilded cage under Rufus' rule. A rule he actively helped instate.

Rean squeezed Alisa's body a little tighter, the hunger for such kindness peeking through while he almost felt his body trembling. After all this was such kindness and happiness after a drought of it which was instead filled with internal self loathing and guilt.