midnightstar | Shionne and Alphen in Menancia

Shionne flinched in surprised, having not expected him to move in so close so quickly - then let out another yelp, not from pain but more surprise at the forehead flick, "Alphen!" Even if it was only a teeny tiny zap from the thorns. She backed away again, "You didn't fail me, you don't........ you don't owe me anything.." Ah-- except that whole mission deal. With the Renas Alma stolen and knowing less than nothing about the situation now... she sighed. How they would manage to avoid her death now, she had no idea. And her nightmares were just getting worse lately. "We don't even know where that woman took the Renas Alma." And if she took it off planet... well it's not like there were any spaceships lying around.

"If you back away like that I'm going to have to grab your wrist and that's going to hurt a lot more." He was going to do it. It's obvious from his voice and the fiery glare in his eyes that he was more than willing to do that to keep her from putting TOO much distance. Was it playing fair? No not really. But he had to play those underhanded moves or else she'd just build those walls right back up and that was the worst case scenario second only to Shionne dying.

"It's not about owing. That's not what this is all about or why I want to help you no matter what." Alphen sighed before going on with her other points.

"We don't know yet. But we'll find out. In one way or another."

Shionne scowled at him, still tensed and not quite backing away again yet. Though if he did step forward, she planned on moving away again. Still, she was suspicious that he wasn't joking about that 'threat', but still gave him a stubborn reaction. "That's not funny." She huffed, "As long as you stay over -there-." ~~social distancing Alphen!~~ "I won't need to back away." She finished, quieter, as her gaze shifted away from him uneasily. She didn't -like- staying away from him, but she'd feel far more guilty over him being hurt. Granted she was guilty before too, but he never felt the pain. "..I hope that's true." They had a lot of people with an ear out, right? Surely someone must know - something.

"Good. Since I'm not joking about it." Well he certainly had grown more...assertive and blunt than he had already been. It seemed getting more of his memories back had given him more confidence and determination. For someone who had fostered so much of it already.

"It is. We'll find a way forward. We just need to figure out the destination."

That.. that actually caught her off guard. She hadn't been taken away from him that long - although he'd always been a LITTLE assertive, that bluntness was a bit more new. She fell silent a moment, wondering what he must have been thinking in that time to change so. She started to speak, paused and changed her mind on what she had been about to say. "... Is that everything?" He checked on her so there was no real reason for him to stick around right?

... not that that was what she really wanted to say, or do. Every minute Vholran had her she had clung to the memory and thought of Alphen, everything he said and the time they spent together. And Vholran kept using that to point out how she wouldn't have that when she met with him again.

And yet... the one thing she wanted to do most of all was hold him. Except that would cause him pain. Which she didn't want. She just had to ..stand firm. Who's stubbornness would give out first though?

Oh. Oh so that's what she was trying to do next? Alphen felt his blood boil faintly and instead he pointed at the window again. He wished he could just grab her again like he used to in the past but just because he could not touch her,.Alphen wasn't going to keep his distance more than he absolutely had to.

"Sit. We need to talk properly."

He was definitely not making this easy on her. Arms still folded, she glanced from him over towards the sofa by the window, then back at him. Fine. He had more to tell her she supposed. She closed her eyes briefly, then let out a sharp exhale. "Fine." She turned and paced over to sit on the couch, watching him warily. "What do we possibly need to talk about?" She.might be a touch worried about the topic given how stubborn he could be though.

"Plenty though it seems I need to be the one to take that first step." Alphen answered with a sigh as he sat down next to her so they could look out in to the city that had there been any other circumstances, he would have maybe found to be quite majestic and beautiful instead of the grim reminder of what the people living here were put through.

"I don't want things to change between us." Then he went and dropped that bombshell as the first topic of business so to speak.

She quickly, instinctively moved to scoot to the furthest side of the couch before her thorns could reflexively trigger with him being close to her. If she managed to move before he could that is. And then what he said processed, which brought another moment's pause, before she focused her attention onto the window, "There is no..."

... she couldn't even bring herself to say it. It'd be a lie. Maybe when they first started out, it'd be obvious, but now? There had been something she refused to put word to slowly squeezing in between the cracks of her defenses and now it was rooted in so deeply she couldn't pry it free even if she wanted to. There was...definitely something between them.

"...nothing has changed." She said quietly. They're still teammates, traveling together, their goal was the same. The only difference.. well ...physically that was the biggest difference, but he had to understand why that.. just wasn't possible, right? He knew what would happen.

Yes he knew what would happen. But he also knew that he didn't want that to stop him. Yes he might have trouble touching her properly now. But he did not want to put more distance between himself and Shionne than he absolutely had to. The fact that he had wasted so much time away from her after finally getting her back was something he was going to kick himself for for a long time to come. Because it had obviously done quite a fair bit of damage to the progress he'd been making with her.

"No quite a bit has changed. But there are some things that haven't. Like me wanting to be close to you."

She fixed her gaze on her hands. She wanted to be close to him too, honestly. That hug that had caught her off guard, but it made her want to feel him closer. Even now she wanted to hold him - but knowing she was going to hurt him made her hesitant. "That's.. you know that isn't possible. You know what will happen." She'll hurt him like she hurts everyone else.

"Yet I still did it to bring you back and I'd do it again a thousand times over if given the choice." Alphen pointed out and despite the faint sadness in his smile, there was no lie, no deceit in his expression, The yearning he felt to be close to Shionne was still very much there if not even stronger after losing her once already.

"Besides that's only the case as long as you still have your curse. Remember getting that cleared up is still one of my main goals in this."

She hated to see that sadness in his expression, and hated it more when she knew she was the cause of it. "That's.." She hesitated - it was probably a long way off, and she still might not survive. But she wouldn't bring that up to him. "Even if that's the case..you still can't-" She half raised a hand, "We still can't touch each other." Even if she wanted to - she had to resist the urge to reach out to him just sitting opposite him. "There's no telling how long it would take to break my curse..without killing me."

Except she wasn't the source of that sadness in the way she thought. Regardless insisting on that point would be a waste of time and energy so instead he worked on reinforcing that belief he held.

"I don't care how long it takes. It won't change how I feel." Alphen insisted and drifted a little closer within the boundaries of them not quite touching. Still she could absolutely feel his warmth and the desire to be with her. Even like this just being close to one another.

Unconsciously she leaned towards him, a selfish response to his own desire to be closer to her. She wanted to be close to him so much it hurt, and Alphen's words were -so- genuine she couldn't ignore it. "I don't want to hurt you," she moved her hand slightly closer - just enough that she had to stop when the thorns crackled almost a warning when it got too close. "I don't want to hurt anyone I care about, but you, more than anyone else.. I couldn't bear it if I was the reason you got hurt." Even if she selfishly wanted to touch him.

"I know you don't want to hurt me. But you also can't see I want the same for you. Shionne...I'll never be able to forget that look in your eyes when I pulled away from you that day..." It would be a wound in his heart for a long time to come. Because he never wanted to see Shionne like that ever again. As far as he was concerned, she deserved the world and then some for how unfair of a hand she had been dealt until now. Especially given that nature of hers that she tried to keep hidden away. The one that cared for others more than she let on due to the same fear of getting close to anyone else.

Ah... so he saw that. That moment she was horrified to have hurt him, crushed at the realization that the one person she could touch could no longer be close to her. That was all the opening Vholran needed to remind her she would always be alone. "Alphen..." She sighed softly, "...you weren't meant to see.. I thought.. you wouldn't have noticed. But that's.. that's what I mean. I wanted to be able to be close to you - but now... It's not fair to you." And seeing him upset like this just made her want to try and reassure him somehow.

Alphen let out a sigh again. This time a faint hind of fond exasperation filtering into his voice as he looked back at Shionne.

"Not fair to either of us. Your pain is no less important or hurtful than my own you know. You might not suffer the same backlash from touching someone physically but I have seen how much it hurts your heart. That you tried to put up a tough exterior that said you don't need anyone near you." Alphen was gradually recovering from that power drain and he was not going to hesitate in doing everything in his power to make sure Shionne had no doubt he would still be there for her regardless of where the journey took them.

"..." He's watched her far too closely, it seems! Shionne did seem a bit surprised by that, "That... how could you have noticed that...?" She thought she hid it so well behind that prickly facade. Frankly it still amazed her he stayed with her, and was willing to help her so much, when she gave him such a hard time at the beginning of their journey. Even now, to a different degree.

She gave a soft laugh, ".. you ..you always do this. You see right through me, even when I try convincing myself that I'm always going to be alone. When everything says I'll have no one, you're always there to tell me otherwise.."

She hadn't noticed that he had eyes only for her for most things. Always checking on her. Checking on her mood. Checking on her injuries. Just watching her sometimes when he had a moment of peace and calm.

"I always will be. Even if the whole world turned against you." He vowed, his smile brightening up a little more. He would not allow Shionne to be alone. Not as long as he drew breath.

When she was trying to keep her distance from everyone early into their interactions, she thought he was just being annoying. Though thinking back on it now... didn't she do it just as much? She found herself watching him, reaching out to him to talk to him more as well. And even now, even though she kept trying to keep him at a distance, there was an unspoken need to be close to him. "Alphen.."

Hah...to think she thought she could keep a professional distance with him now. She gave him a small smile, sliding a little closer to him - though the moment the thorns started to trigger, she stopped moving and looked down with a faint sigh. "You don't have to go so far for me." Though she said the words with a fond smile of someone just exasperated with the person they loved, more than scolding or trying to keep him away.

There. That smile right there made it all the more worth it. Alphen smiled back his own feeling warmer than it was before. This time he didn't flinch away from her thorns. It stung and she stopped before it could get any worse so there was just a faint twitch but no other reaction. Hell compared to when he had to break her out of her own head just a few days ago this kind of pain was akin to a mosquito bite.

"I know. But I want to. Having to has nothing to do with it."

Shionne drew her arms back, folding her arms instead, if only so she wouldn't try reaching out to him again. "You're a good man, Alphen. You really deserve better than me." But she's the one he wanted, and that was..like a dream she never thought she'd experience. Augh the blush was starting to come back again, and she ducked her head a bit. She knew he'd say she didn't need to, but she wanted to make it up to him for all the trouble she put him through someday. If she survived.

"I don't want better even if better existed." Which it didn't is what he was more or less saying. Especially when treated with that smile and blush that made him feel as if he'd just been clubbed in the back of the head by some unseen force.

As for making it up to him, he didn't think that was necessary but he'd at the very least ensure she got that chance. That was his bottom line.

"Haha, are you sure about that?" She smiled, "Well... actually I shouldn't second guess you or you really might change your mind." She absently brushed her fingers against each other, "But for now.." Because she was genuinely hoping their wishes would be granted. "We... I mean..." Fidgetting. So much fidgeting~!

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