midnightstar | Shionne and Alphen in Menancia

They've all come a long way since Calaglia, both in terms of distance and... other things. Things Shionne was forcing herself not to acknowledge. Because what would the point be to acknowledge those thoughts when she couldn't act on them - when at the end of this journey, she had no future? Ah... but that was something she hadn't - couldn't - tell the others, who she's begun thinking of as more than just 'tools'.

Particularly Alphen.

It was the hardest to think of him when she knew how much she was keeping from him. Much to her frustration, however, the group had decided to take a break for a little while since Shionne's pace had been pushing the others quite a lot - and they did just gain two new companions. Shionne was avoiding them as much as possible, deciding to go for a walk through the city almost...baffled by how accepting the Dahnans and Renans were.

It was ... nice. But it felt so alien to her, at the same time.

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"Plenty though it seems I need to be the one to take that first step." Alphen answered with a sigh as he sat down next to her so they could look out in to the city that had there been any other circumstances, he would have maybe found to be quite majestic and beautiful instead of the grim reminder of what the people living here were put through.

"I don't want things to change between us." Then he went and dropped that bombshell as the first topic of business so to speak.

She quickly, instinctively moved to scoot to the furthest side of the couch before her thorns could reflexively trigger with him being close to her. If she managed to move before he could that is. And then what he said processed, which brought another moment's pause, before she focused her attention onto the window, "There is no..."

... she couldn't even bring herself to say it. It'd be a lie. Maybe when they first started out, it'd be obvious, but now? There had been something she refused to put word to slowly squeezing in between the cracks of her defenses and now it was rooted in so deeply she couldn't pry it free even if she wanted to. There was...definitely something between them.

"...nothing has changed." She said quietly. They're still teammates, traveling together, their goal was the same. The only difference.. well ...physically that was the biggest difference, but he had to understand why that.. just wasn't possible, right? He knew what would happen.

Yes he knew what would happen. But he also knew that he didn't want that to stop him. Yes he might have trouble touching her properly now. But he did not want to put more distance between himself and Shionne than he absolutely had to. The fact that he had wasted so much time away from her after finally getting her back was something he was going to kick himself for for a long time to come. Because it had obviously done quite a fair bit of damage to the progress he'd been making with her.

"No quite a bit has changed. But there are some things that haven't. Like me wanting to be close to you."

She fixed her gaze on her hands. She wanted to be close to him too, honestly. That hug that had caught her off guard, but it made her want to feel him closer. Even now she wanted to hold him - but knowing she was going to hurt him made her hesitant. "That's.. you know that isn't possible. You know what will happen." She'll hurt him like she hurts everyone else.

"Yet I still did it to bring you back and I'd do it again a thousand times over if given the choice." Alphen pointed out and despite the faint sadness in his smile, there was no lie, no deceit in his expression, The yearning he felt to be close to Shionne was still very much there if not even stronger after losing her once already.

"Besides that's only the case as long as you still have your curse. Remember getting that cleared up is still one of my main goals in this."

She hated to see that sadness in his expression, and hated it more when she knew she was the cause of it. "That's.." She hesitated - it was probably a long way off, and she still might not survive. But she wouldn't bring that up to him. "Even if that's the case..you still can't-" She half raised a hand, "We still can't touch each other." Even if she wanted to - she had to resist the urge to reach out to him just sitting opposite him. "There's no telling how long it would take to break my curse..without killing me."

Except she wasn't the source of that sadness in the way she thought. Regardless insisting on that point would be a waste of time and energy so instead he worked on reinforcing that belief he held.

"I don't care how long it takes. It won't change how I feel." Alphen insisted and drifted a little closer within the boundaries of them not quite touching. Still she could absolutely feel his warmth and the desire to be with her. Even like this just being close to one another.

Unconsciously she leaned towards him, a selfish response to his own desire to be closer to her. She wanted to be close to him so much it hurt, and Alphen's words were -so- genuine she couldn't ignore it. "I don't want to hurt you," she moved her hand slightly closer - just enough that she had to stop when the thorns crackled almost a warning when it got too close. "I don't want to hurt anyone I care about, but you, more than anyone else.. I couldn't bear it if I was the reason you got hurt." Even if she selfishly wanted to touch him.

"I know you don't want to hurt me. But you also can't see I want the same for you. Shionne...I'll never be able to forget that look in your eyes when I pulled away from you that day..." It would be a wound in his heart for a long time to come. Because he never wanted to see Shionne like that ever again. As far as he was concerned, she deserved the world and then some for how unfair of a hand she had been dealt until now. Especially given that nature of hers that she tried to keep hidden away. The one that cared for others more than she let on due to the same fear of getting close to anyone else.

Ah... so he saw that. That moment she was horrified to have hurt him, crushed at the realization that the one person she could touch could no longer be close to her. That was all the opening Vholran needed to remind her she would always be alone. "Alphen..." She sighed softly, "...you weren't meant to see.. I thought.. you wouldn't have noticed. But that's.. that's what I mean. I wanted to be able to be close to you - but now... It's not fair to you." And seeing him upset like this just made her want to try and reassure him somehow.

Alphen let out a sigh again. This time a faint hind of fond exasperation filtering into his voice as he looked back at Shionne.

"Not fair to either of us. Your pain is no less important or hurtful than my own you know. You might not suffer the same backlash from touching someone physically but I have seen how much it hurts your heart. That you tried to put up a tough exterior that said you don't need anyone near you." Alphen was gradually recovering from that power drain and he was not going to hesitate in doing everything in his power to make sure Shionne had no doubt he would still be there for her regardless of where the journey took them.

"..." He's watched her far too closely, it seems! Shionne did seem a bit surprised by that, "That... how could you have noticed that...?" She thought she hid it so well behind that prickly facade. Frankly it still amazed her he stayed with her, and was willing to help her so much, when she gave him such a hard time at the beginning of their journey. Even now, to a different degree.

She gave a soft laugh, ".. you ..you always do this. You see right through me, even when I try convincing myself that I'm always going to be alone. When everything says I'll have no one, you're always there to tell me otherwise.."

She hadn't noticed that he had eyes only for her for most things. Always checking on her. Checking on her mood. Checking on her injuries. Just watching her sometimes when he had a moment of peace and calm.

"I always will be. Even if the whole world turned against you." He vowed, his smile brightening up a little more. He would not allow Shionne to be alone. Not as long as he drew breath.

When she was trying to keep her distance from everyone early into their interactions, she thought he was just being annoying. Though thinking back on it now... didn't she do it just as much? She found herself watching him, reaching out to him to talk to him more as well. And even now, even though she kept trying to keep him at a distance, there was an unspoken need to be close to him. "Alphen.."

Hah...to think she thought she could keep a professional distance with him now. She gave him a small smile, sliding a little closer to him - though the moment the thorns started to trigger, she stopped moving and looked down with a faint sigh. "You don't have to go so far for me." Though she said the words with a fond smile of someone just exasperated with the person they loved, more than scolding or trying to keep him away.

There. That smile right there made it all the more worth it. Alphen smiled back his own feeling warmer than it was before. This time he didn't flinch away from her thorns. It stung and she stopped before it could get any worse so there was just a faint twitch but no other reaction. Hell compared to when he had to break her out of her own head just a few days ago this kind of pain was akin to a mosquito bite.

"I know. But I want to. Having to has nothing to do with it."

Shionne drew her arms back, folding her arms instead, if only so she wouldn't try reaching out to him again. "You're a good man, Alphen. You really deserve better than me." But she's the one he wanted, and that was..like a dream she never thought she'd experience. Augh the blush was starting to come back again, and she ducked her head a bit. She knew he'd say she didn't need to, but she wanted to make it up to him for all the trouble she put him through someday. If she survived.

"I don't want better even if better existed." Which it didn't is what he was more or less saying. Especially when treated with that smile and blush that made him feel as if he'd just been clubbed in the back of the head by some unseen force.

As for making it up to him, he didn't think that was necessary but he'd at the very least ensure she got that chance. That was his bottom line.

"Haha, are you sure about that?" She smiled, "Well... actually I shouldn't second guess you or you really might change your mind." She absently brushed her fingers against each other, "But for now.." Because she was genuinely hoping their wishes would be granted. "We... I mean..." Fidgetting. So much fidgeting~!

"Positive. There's no way I'd change my mind." She should know. He's been pretty damn stubborn about pursuing a place by her side after all and that was before he knew who he truly was and what she actually meant to him all along. The way she was fidgeting though could onyl be summarized in one word as far As Alphen was concerned.

"Cute." ...did he just voice that thought of his outloud?

Yes, yes he did, and she glanced up at him in surprise, "What?" He didn't... did he -was he referring to *HER* as cute? Or did he see a cute bird outside or a squirrel on the windowsill or something? She glanced over towards the window curiously, then back at him, "What is?"

He flinched and looked away with a clearly red face as it was his turn to lightly fidget in place.

"I was...talking about you..." SInce the cat was out of the bag he might as well just admit it now. The last thing he wanted was some kind of friction being caused by him being too embarrassed about his own thoughts.

Her face immediately turned red to match his as she stared at him with that revelation, and she fell silent for a few seconds. Oh.. he meant _SHE_ was cute.. she didn't think she'd ever heard anyone call her that and .. why was her heart beating so hard? Was he able to hear that?

"O-oh..." Uh, no, just 'oh' didn't cut it. "Thank you.." .. that felt weirdly formal. She hesitated a second longer, weighed a few things and finally leaned over to him to press her lips against his cheek quickly. If she was lucky the zap might not be too painful from that brief contact. "Alphen.." she murmured, almost a whisper to him before retreating awkwardly, but a happy smile on her face.

The kiss stings but the surprise from her actually taking the initiative to do that was so great all of his other senses were numbed for that split second. The curse happened yet he looked back at her with a red face and wide eyes yet not flinching or pulling away from Shionne any.

"I...uhm..." Words. Words Alphen. Words were a thing so why were they failing him now.

".. your surprised face is pretty cute too.." Shionne offered a little shyly, before clearing her throat and glancing away sheepishly, ".. sorry, I should have waited until... after everything was over first." To show any kind of affection - and even that was the bare minimum of what she could do, sadly.

That bare minimum was enough to fill his heart with that sweet warm feeling he hadn't had a clear grasp of yet before his seal was completely removed. Now though along with the steady flow of his memories returning, he had more clarity about what these feelings of his were. didn't make him any less flustered though.

"No no I...don't mind at all."