midnightstar | Shionne and Alphen in Menancia

They've all come a long way since Calaglia, both in terms of distance and... other things. Things Shionne was forcing herself not to acknowledge. Because what would the point be to acknowledge those thoughts when she couldn't act on them - when at the end of this journey, she had no future? Ah... but that was something she hadn't - couldn't - tell the others, who she's begun thinking of as more than just 'tools'.

Particularly Alphen.

It was the hardest to think of him when she knew how much she was keeping from him. Much to her frustration, however, the group had decided to take a break for a little while since Shionne's pace had been pushing the others quite a lot - and they did just gain two new companions. Shionne was avoiding them as much as possible, deciding to go for a walk through the city almost...baffled by how accepting the Dahnans and Renans were.

It was ... nice. But it felt so alien to her, at the same time.

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"How is that a problem? We're not hurting anyone." Clueless might not be the right term for it. Since he knew he was getting closer to Shionne. He just felt it was so natural and comfortable he could not imagine that being wrong or unfitting in any way.

Frankly she should pat herself on the back managing to keep from kissing him this long, with that much temptation. "You're hurting yourself being close to me like this.." Says the woman making absolutely no attempt to pull away. If anything she's all but given up her argument, from that tell tale sigh as she leaned into him, resting her head against his.

Being close to him like this...it did feel natural and just -right- but she felt guilty over causing him pain. Even if she was immediately healing it again. It was harder and harder to pull away from him.

"I'm not." He said simply, not even showing the slightest hint of wanting to let go. He had yet to fully realize the meaning of his feelings but he knew the baseline of them. He wanted to be close to Shionne no matter what. When she finally leaned in, his heart felt like almost jumping out his throat for a split second before it settled back down again

"...beautiful..." he murmured so quietly it was barely like a mouse's scuttling.

"Alphen..." Shionne sighed his name faintly. He left her feeling so many confusing emotions she's never experienced before him, she didn't know what to do with herself. Or him. He was so lucky that he couldn't feel the pain from her thorns, but she still felt guilty about it normally. Though she was having a hard time to feel guilty at the moment - if it wasn't the urge to tilt her head up to him ever so slightly, it was the urge to wrap her arms around him tighter. "H...haha, I..." She closed her eyes, "... I won't want to let go if you keep doing this..." She trailed off absently, her body relaxing against his - wait, what was that last part? It was so quiet she couldn't pick it up - so she lifted her head to glance at him. "What was --" She stopped. Awfully close there, Shionne...

"Not hearing anything bad to me." Alphen chuckled seeing her finally act a bit more honestly about what she wanted from him and with him. It just made his heart race so much more and want to lean into her touch as well. He'd completely allowed the rest of the world to just fall away around them completely.

"Hm? What was what?" He asked before taking a better look at Shionne since she'd cut herself off like that and only making him more curious of what was on her mind.

"Shionne?" He said hitting her with that fond tone of voice he often used when calling out her name these days.

OH no, he said her name LIKE THAT. That way that made her blush even though he did nothing more than say her name. "I.." She swallowed back an odd lump in her throat. She'd wanted to ask him what he said - if he had even said anything a moment ago, but with him looking at her like that, combined with that fond way he said her name... she can't help but slip one hand free of his, leaving him to still hold her other hand. Instead she reached up to touch the unmasked part of his face, brushing her thumg along a corner of his lips.

Oh...Oh well then. That was a far more intimate touch than he's gotten from Shionne in the past. But it also made it feel so much more special and precious too. SO he didn't flinch or even shiver away from Shionne's touch, instead letting his expression melt into a very adoring smile even with the mask still covering up most of his face.

Oh that adoring smile was such a killer expression, even with half of his face still hidden behind that mask. She found herself staring at him in awe for a moment, before her expression melted into a soft smile of her own - forgetting completely about everything - forgetting about her misgivings with hurting him with her thorns, forgetting the mission, forgetting that their friends, most importantly, were probably going to be back -any minute now- .. instead she started leaning towards him -gaspgasp-.

He felt nothing wrong about her getting closer. Maybe because it just felt so right and he was quite lacking in experience when it came to romance and the signs that it showed before things escalated.

He didn't move away and if anything his other arm was slowly reaching around to bring the rest of her closer against him as well, not really thinking about anything other than Shionne right now.

Such a dangerous situation, and neither of them were minding it! Gasp! Her hand traced away from his lips as she felt him slowly start to reach around her ...another thing she never realized she had subconsciously been craving. Feeling him holding her, let alone her own desire to be closer to him- even now she tilted her head up to bring herself closer to him, "Alphen.." she murmured faintly, leaning closer, closer still, until her lips were barely even a breathe away from his - aaaaaaaaand..

-SNAP- The loud crack of a branch, seemed suddenly louder than usual. Almost as if someone was being deliberately loud so that the lovebirds were aware someone else existed in the world. Followed by Dohalim's voice - still a few feet away, but projected intentionally loudly, "My that's quite a haul you all caught - we'll be eating well tonight."

Which startled Shionne, who froze for a second in Alphen's arms, eyes wide. What had she been about to..

Dammit. Just a few more second. A few more seconds and they...would have done what? With the spell of the moment broken and clarity returning to Alphen, he was left feeling...confused and a little frustrated. But not quite grasping why. Though he did know it was not aimed at Shionne this time. So he couldn't help but let out a faint sigh. He...hoped that whatever that moment just now was, he could see it through to the end eventually.

Blushing ten times more than before, Shionne ducked her head, looking like she was trying to avoid Alphen's gaze - though the smile couldn't quite be suppressed as much as she would have liked. By the time Dohalim, Kisara and Rinwell - with Law trotting behind lugging some large branches - made their appearance, Shionne had scooted back as much as she could. Though if Alphen still didn't let go of her hand, she made no attempt to pull it away either. "A-ah, you're back.." Sooo casuallll...

Kisara was too excited over having fished up a huge trout to notice the awkwardness, and held it up instead proudly. "It put up a good fight, but I was the victor eventually. We should have plenty even for you Shionne. How are you feeling?"

Shionne barely kept herself from glancing at Alphen, but she was notably more pleasant in her response, "I feel .. good. I suppose resting was the right idea after all." And Resting with Alphen, doubly so.

Dohalim m a a y have noticed what happened, but he wasn't talking. Rinwell and Law were clueless, but Kisara glanced over at Shionne in surprise for a second, then smiled. "I'm glad you're in better spirits too. Alphen, how about you? Feeling better? I'll be able to get the food prepared in a little under an hour if you're hungry."

He didn't hold on as tightly but he did keep his hand close enough that they could feel each other even without actually touching. He'd managed to compose himself just about enough though there was a faint stiffness to his own smile when the others greeted them again.

"Y-Yeah feeling all charged over here. Though won't say no to some of your cooking so don't hold back on my account." He still would occasionally throw glances back at Shionne making it clear he was still keeping most of his attention on her no matter the conversation.

Shionne's gaze was certainly falling on him a lot more frequently, though everytime he glanced at her, her smile turned almost more shy, especially when she thought about what they shared and how close they got. So close she ..came very close to doing something she'd never dreamed about - or more accurately, she never dreamed she'd be able to get close enough to someone for that.

"Y-yeah, I'm pretty hungry too." Though thanks to the thorns, she always was hungry it seemed. Knowing his hand was so close, .. was strangely reassuring. She lightly brushed her finger against his - though without looking at him - as if to remind herself that he was right there, and what they shared actually happened. "Do you need help?"

Kisara shook her head, "No no, you both need to get your rest. Let us take care of things for a while. Rinwell?" She waved the mage to join her, while Dohalim sat down to wait and Law started the fire. Eventually they were going to have to address the elephant in the room - that fourth Lord. But right now, the mood was light and no one wanted to darken it, least of all Shionne. Maybe after they ate though.

That absolutely would need addressing at some point. Alphen was in no hurry to bring that up though. This atmosphere right now was just another reason for him to fight to see this journey to the end and make sure all of them would be standing at the end smiling and safe as they would face a new future with endless possibilities.

Though for some odd reason he kept lingering on an image of himself and Shionne having their own little house out in some woods with her greeting him with a big smile after he came back from chopping wood or fishing in a nearby river...the fact that he could think of so many clear details was honestly quite confusing to him but it all felt like a puzzle whose pieces fell in place as naturally as breathing.

Shionne would definitely get flustered if she knew that's what he was thinking, but at the same time, it felt like a wonderful dream. In fact, she was in a -very- good mood for the rest of their dinner - the others found it particularly curious, but they were glad for it. And if anyone else noticed that Shionne sat a little closer to Alphen - juuust enough to not trigger her thorns - or that she would occasionally give him a softer smile when speaking to him (or that when they were in conversation Alphen and Shionne were in their own world), no one drew attention to it.

Unfortunately, after that ... well they might have gotten in a little over their heads. Moreso than expected. With Rinwell almost becoming a murderer, Shionne getting kidnapped and Alphen's mask shattering fully - things were looking pre-tty bad. Fortunately it wasn't too long before Shionne was rescued, although poor Alphen .... would probably do the same thing all over again, suffering the thorns even though he could feel the pain this time.

Defeating Volran was definitely not easy, and chances were they would run into him again in the future - but for the time being, recuperation in Pelegion was desperately, desperately needed for everyone. Kisara took it upon herself to check on everyone, especially when Shionne was keeping to herself more than ever. Not that she was ungrateful everyone came for her, but knowing that Alphen could feel the pain from her thorns now.. she was unsure of approaching him.

Pelegion was hardly a desirable place to choose to rest in given they had just killed its monstrous tyrant supposedly. Though the lack of body WAS quite concerning given the appearance of that mysterious woman.

Between the uncertainty of their fate as well as the fact that their prize had been stolen right at the very last moment, it was little wonder the party temporarily busied themselves in other ways.

There was the elephant in the room for Alphen that he was not quite sure how to deal with. It wasn't the fact that he could feel pain that kept him away. It was his initial reaction when she got taken. When he actually flinched from her because of feeling pain for the first time in what felt like his entire life. Well that wasn't quite true. He had remembered QUITE a bit including the fact that he was MUCH MUCH older than he looked due to certain events.

That being said the fact that she kept avoiding him was what cornered him the most. Since if she had just appeared before him he could have taken the chance to say the words that had been smouldering in his heart for quite a while.

This isn't working. WIth that realization, Alphen finally set out to track her down. Whether she allowed it or not.

Though she had made a concentrated effort to avoid everyone possible, it was inevitable that Alphen would eventually track her down. She knew he would, and genuinely had no idea what she would say to him when he did.

After the days they spent together getting to know each other, growing closer - close enough that she had begun trusting in him in every way possible - to the point that she even let herself rely on him. To let herself having that moment of weakness and lean against him physically as well as emotionally and mentally.. thinking that just maybe things would work out even that way.

Until Vholran showed up. But it wasn't the fact that he kidnapped her that hurt most - it was the horror in the way Alphen cried out when he felt the pain of her thorns for the first time. She didn't blame him for that, everyone would have that same reaction. But at the same time, the agony she felt in him letting go of her hand, in seeing someone she cared for be injured like that.. that was more real than she wanted.

Even though she kept replaying the moment he hugged her when they rescued her. It was all she had now - how could she ever even dream of anything more than that? And how could she face him after everything when she could hurt him now? It was almost funny that -that- bothered her more than the fact that they lost the opportunity to make the Renas Alma because of that..creepy person. Almost.

With everything on her mind, Shionne's success in keeping away from everyone - particularly Alphen - only left her feeling more lonely. Now she'd have to get used to this again. Which is probably when she was doing when Alphen -did- find her again, separated from everyone and just ..looking out a window, lost in thought.

Edited Date: 2022-02-19 11:29 am (UTC)

Honestly as he went through what felt like an endless castle, Alphen came to terms with the fact that he'd postponed this for too long. Knowing Shionne she had stewed in her own dark thoughts and emotions all this time and he had not been there for her as he'd promised he'd always be. As such by the time he finally tracked her down, his breathing was considerably deeper since he had been really going overtime to get to ehr faster.

"There you are..." He said finally appearing in the door leading to the room she had holed up in while lost in her thoughts.

By the time he found her, her thoughts had moved from 'he's probably going to look for me' to 'he won't look for me. He's tired of everything I've put him through until now and he can't even touch me. Why would he look for me, still? It's no different now than it was before.. I'm still going to be alone.'

So cyclic in nature were her thoughts, a tiny part of herself still argued with those darker thoughts that Alphen meant what he said - he wasn't like everyone else. But even with that she kept going back to the fact that they couldn't touch each other. Not without causing him pain, and Shionne wasn't willing to do that.

So hearing his voice startled her out of her internal argument quite a bit, where she actually jumped slightly with a small surprised gasp. Then her expression quickly reverted back to normal, and she glanced over at Alphen. "Alphen..."

It.. was still a bit of a shock to see him without his mask. He really was attractive. He'd have no problem finding a replacement for her when she wasn't around anymore. She gave him the briefest of smiles, a businesslike acknowledgement at best. "What can I do for you? Have you heard any news?"

Honestly without the helmet covering half of his face, his field of view had improved considerably to the point that if he had not been in an immense amount of emotional distress over Shionne, he would have needed longer to get used to it. Right now though that didn't matter at all. He was a little surprised how much he had needed to see her. Only now that he finally stood before her did it hit him. The extent to which he had needed to find her and he had to kick himself for taking so long to do it.

"I just... Aaah it's been so long and I have so many things I want to say." Alphen sighed as he decided to step up closer now that they were actually talking. He certainly missed the closeness he could have had if the helmet had not shattered fully.

"How...are you feeling feels like a stupid question now when I can see you with my own eyes."

Oh. So he intended to tell her outright.. she could appreciate that. She had suspected it would come to this anyway. Though at the same time, she didn't want to hear those words from him - she'd heard it from so many already. When he started towards her, she internally shoved aside that selfish, greedy wish to move closer to him as well, and forced herself to step back, holding up a hand to warn him from coming nearer to her.

"You don't have to say anything." She said instead, firmly, almost pointedly keeping the requisite distance between them so it didn't trigger her thorns. "I..." She wanted to be sure he was okay herself. Seeing him in person, it just made things harder, it made her want to be close to him again. She took a breath, "I'm fine.. thank you. Thanks to you and everyone." She glanced at him again, hesitantly. "What about you..?" And the others of course.

Even without the metaphorical research log he kept on Shionne and her quirk close to his heart and mind, ALphen could see the signs in her eyes and cornered body language. He felt...upset. With himself mostly but also with her for being so willing to go back to that lonely darkness.

"To be quite frank. Not the greatest. I talked a big game and failed to uphold so much of it. To that end I have to say I am sorry. That moment when I let go...There wasn't a day where I didn't regret it. I still do." He said gritting his teeth to keep those more ardent emotions in check for now. Because he HAD to get through to her. He would accept nothing less.

She hesitated a moment, almost confused. This was clearly not the conversation she was expecting. "You .. you don't have to apologize for that." She lowered her hand and crossed her arms awkwardly, "I've told you time and again, didn't I? You're only hurting yourself ..you felt the same pain everyone else has. It's only natural that you would have let go." She paused again, "..I don't want to be the cause of you feeling pain again." To herself, she added, "Or anyone else." But particularly -him-.

He immediately shook his head. No he knew the slippery slope Shionne was heading into. So he was not going to give her the chance. He gritted his teeth and moved up closer until he got right up in front of Shionne and gave her forhead the quickest of flicks. He didn't cry out when the thorns retaliated. Instead he grit his teeth and bore that brief spike of pain. Compared to when she was consumed by the will behind those thorns, that pain was nothing. When compared to the pain he felt when he failed her, it was even less than nothing.

"Natural or not, it doesn't change the fact that I hurt you. I failed you. I won't do it again. Besides there's still the whole mission of getting you free of that curse without actually killing you to do it. I have not forgotten and given how things have...escalated, we clearly don't know everything there is to know about this system that's been enforced on this planet and us."