midnightstar | Shionne and Alphen in Menancia

They've all come a long way since Calaglia, both in terms of distance and... other things. Things Shionne was forcing herself not to acknowledge. Because what would the point be to acknowledge those thoughts when she couldn't act on them - when at the end of this journey, she had no future? Ah... but that was something she hadn't - couldn't - tell the others, who she's begun thinking of as more than just 'tools'.

Particularly Alphen.

It was the hardest to think of him when she knew how much she was keeping from him. Much to her frustration, however, the group had decided to take a break for a little while since Shionne's pace had been pushing the others quite a lot - and they did just gain two new companions. Shionne was avoiding them as much as possible, deciding to go for a walk through the city almost...baffled by how accepting the Dahnans and Renans were.

It was ... nice. But it felt so alien to her, at the same time.

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If she wasn't asleep she'd hear Alphen exhale with a sigh before going over to the bed and quickly taking his armor off before slipping into bed as well. He knew no words he had now would get through to her. Not when those walls went right back up again because of thoughtless words. So he could only wait and start over though at least he was confident he wouldn't have to start from zero.

She was only half asleep - her dreams - no, nightmares - came back in full force when she did let herself drift off, but she tried to be quiet so as not to alert any of her companions. Especially ones who were painfully perceptive, and painfully capable of getting through the walls she put up.

While come morning, she had 'forgiven' Law for his accidental slip of words, she clearly got very little rest and was especially testy and impatient when everyone woke and had breakfast. Shionne skipped breakfast entirely, which .. certainly got the attention of everyone who knew her appetite.

But the moment breakfast was over and Kisara led the others out with Alphen to meet Shionne, the sniper didn't give them even a second to say anything to her - she just turned and started walking out of town, impatience in her steps.

Alphen just didn't want to linger too far from Shionne after that so he kept up with her and even during the first few couple of fights he would often stick closer to her. Not that he tried talking again just yet outside of the occasionally check to see if she was alright. He didn't want to push for too much after taking those steps back.

Despite her irritation, Alphen being closer was comforting, but she still wasn't inclined to talk to the others much. Uuuunfortunately their trip to the next town wasn't exactly peaceful, what with that ambush by that scary..mercenary? Who had been WAY too focused on Alphen.

So focused that Shionne had thrown herself in the way of a potentially mortal blow and... despite herself, Alphen's reaction - no, not just that, everything that happened afterward. That light, the man being chased off, and the subsequent interaction with the bastards in Mahag Saar. Shionne had always been prepared for that kind of reception, but it was Alphen standing up for her like that that still stunned her.

When the group finally managed to find a campsite to rest at before continuing their sear for the fourth Lord, Shionne felt exhausted; physically, mentally and emotionally. Kisara at first was unwilling to leave the campsite to get supplies - fishing mainly - but knowing Alphen wasn't about to leave Shionne's side even more, she gathered the others and left Shionne in his capable ..figurative..hands.

Sitting by the fire, a very pensive Shionne had been instructed to 'take it easy' by Kisara. Which was fine, because Shionne had something to ask Alphen anyway, ..just how to bring it up though...

That ambush had brought some...clarity as to how much he had come to truly care for Shionne. The very notion that monster would steal her away filling him with such rage and also fear deep inside that he had not hesitated even for a moment to attack. Yet he was so powerful. And still they did not know the man's name or identity. Frankly the fact that none of their party had died, especially Rinwell after that nasty blow she took with her back against the wall was nothing short of a miracle. Unfortunately even after the mysterious warrior retreated, their next destination did not provide any real respite.

At first he was resigned to not finding anyone alive given the state of the ruins. But then they did find people. And their leader...Alphen had never felt more enraged even in his days as a slave. The way that bastard spoke about Shionne. He'd seen red at that time and even he had to wander how he had not done so much worse to that so called boss.

Eventually they left in search of the fled ruler but they had to break camp for the day and Alphen sure enough was near Shionne, looking over her just as often as she would look his way. After all those words that had been said to her were still bouncing around in his head so he could only imagine what Shionne might be thinking of.

When Alphen had joined her at the campfire, Shionne was.. definitely more awkward. Funny how seeing someone be the target of a deadly blow - and taking one yourself for him - put things into perspective. Rinwell surprisingly was tougher than even Shionne gave her credit for, but she'd also been acting rather strange lately - almost backsliding into her prejudices from earlier.

But still she had been capable enough to join Kisara with getting supplies. She had to be feeling better if she was being civil with Law again. Sort of anyway. Whiiiiiich meant Shionne was alone with Alphen again. She glanced over at him, fidgeting a little, "... how are you feeling..?" She was going to beat him to the punch on that one!

Alphen looked at Shionne with a surprised look on his face that completely overwrote the previous sour angry look. Only to then shake his head with a sigh.

"I should be asking you that." Both in regards to the stabbing she took and the slander that fat asshole had sent flying her way.

".. I'm fine." She relaxed a bit more, "I healed myself, remember?" Because what that fat bastard said was nothing more than what she heard before, and what she expected to hear from others. "Although.. I was wondering, while we're on the topic.." She pressed her hands together, then against her knees, "..why did you get so angry...?"

That's not what he was asking about. Well not the only thing he was asking about. "That's good. Still can't help but ask." SInce that was a sword to the core so who knew if there might be a backlash later or something of the sorts. Her own question gives him a moment of pause. He knows why just not quiet how to word it right.

"Because no one should talk to you that way. Especially those who don't know you even a little bit."

"... he's not the first person, and he's not going to be the last. You shouldn't let it bother you so much... I don't." Not entirely true, really. She was used to hearing people say things like that about her, but that was the first time someone actually stood up for her to the degree he did.

It made her oddly ... happy to see him jump to her defense for her. That punch, that look of anger on his face.. if he weren't so disciplined, she somehow suspected he might have lunged at that man, especially if he kept talking. "... even so.." she bit her lower lip, ".. it made me happy, that you stood up for me."

Not just that he did, but that it was -him- to do it.

"I can't do that. Just because they don't know doesn't give them the right to run their mouth like that and just assume things about you." Alphen insisted stubbornly. Maybe he was being a little naive but he couldn't just override his feelings on that topic like a machine.

"I always will. Because you are...the one who made me take my first real step from no longer being a slave."

She sighed. This was a fight she was going to always lose, she could tell - and it wasn't even a fight, per se. But Alphen's stubborn insistence on defending her... was not actually something she wanted to change anyway.

At the last though, she felt herself blush, catching her breath slightly. "I think.. Zephyr was the one to do that, more than me. YOu always were the one to reach out, and I always tried keeping a distance from ..everyone." But then he ended up being the one that made her want to get closer to people - to him in particular.

He resolutely shakes his head at that.

"I would never have met Zephyr if you hadn't jumped on that cargo train, if you hadn't been there. I would have kept passively fighting against those guards waiting for a perfect time that would likely never come." He had time to think about his past self and realized that in the grand scheme of things his so called will was nothing that great. Because even if he glared even if he took blows for others, it would not change a thing.

She... supposed he had a point there. "Haha, okay.. Okay I surrender." Here she was trying to give him all the credit, and he kept bringing it back to her. "... I know I didn't have much of a plan when I jumped onto that cargo train.. but I'm glad that I did. Although I never thought I would have met someone like you in doing so." She started to lift a hand over the small gap between them- paused, and lowered her hand again.

Good. Because she deserved that credit. Alphen would not hear anyone take that from her even herself. Still he missed that closeness they had before Law's slip up so rather than let her build that wall up completely again, he opted to sit closer and then lean his shoulder against hers outright.

She started in surprise when he moved closer - even close enough to feel his shoulder against hers, "A-alphen -" she started to protest, debating leaning away or inching back just so her thorns weren't reacting. Even if part of her wanted to lean against him - no no, not just that. SHe wanted to wrap her arms around him and hug him so tightly.. but that was just because of everything. Not just being grateful for him standing up for her, but because she'd been so scared when that man was fixated on attacking him. And Alphen was always so reckless in fights..

He acted as if she didn't say a thing instead leaning openly against her shoulder but not enough to knock Shionne over. Just like he said, that armor looked a lot heavier than it actually felt. Even so he felt...a complete sense of comfort when he was so close to Shionne. So why would he hesitate as long as it did not inconvenience her. As in truly inconvenience and not her telling herself she should not be allowed to have this sort of interaction.

She fell into a thoughtful silence for a second, before her hand hesitantly drifted over to brush against his. "...aren't.. don't you worry about what my thorns are doing to your body... even though you can't feel it...?" She asked quietly instead. "It might not show now, but over time...."

Alphen chuckles and turns his head to look back at Shionne.

"I don't. Because if there was actual damage done to me, there is no way you wouldn't notice with how you fuss over me all the time." He was using fuss as fondly as humanly possible since he absolutely appreciated her concern over his wellbeing in a way that was far separate from how Doc used to be.

"I don't fuss..!" She sputtered, defensive - though with him looking at her, it suddenly hit her how close he was. "..." IMMEDIATELY focusing her attention away from his face, she cleared her throat, "... not any more than over anyone else." LLLLLlllllllies. But seeing him say 'fuss' with so much fondness and the way he looked at her.. it was making her feel odd. Lightheaded? Warm.. she would die happy if he smiled at her like that for the rest of her days.

His shoulder shook with the chuckle that left his lips at that reaction. Oh there it was. That cute reaction that made her even more lovely to be with. Alphen would fight tooth and nail to give her the time and circumstances to be like that more often. Yes freeing his people was still a priority but before he knew it he had a more selfish goal as well. Yet it didn't feel wrong either. After all he was no saint. He was a man like any other. SOme made him out to be a hero but he didn't think he was there yet if ever.

Before she knew it, she was smiling at the sound of that chuckle, letting herself relax against him. Did she dare to let her head rest against his shoulder too? That might be too risky - it was bad enough she allowed herself this much. His indulgence was making her crave more .. surely that would be a problem.

Gods but it was tempting to snuggle close against him, even if it was just to be a little warmer. She resisted the urge, taking a long breath. ".. you're... the only one who's fine with this." The whole zappyzap from the thorns, giving her that closeness she wanted with him.

Though she had to wonder why it was so important that she was this close with him. It wasn't even that she wanted closeness in general, she wanted it with him. No one else would do.

He certainly hoped she could rest against him more. After all he was the only one she could approach that way. It might have been a little selfish of him to want that but really if she didn't like those few moments where her guard slipped he would not push nearly as often for that distance between them to shrink.

"So? I like being unique like that." He smiled brightly before his hand slowly ghosted over to hers without even really thinking.

Resting is one thing, snuggling.. totally different! Even if he was the only one she could be ..somewhat physically close to. "... I just don't want to be the one to cause you pain in the long term. Even if you can't feel it, and even if I can heal it afterwards." Unconsciously she felt herself leaning against him closer, feeling his hand moving closer to hers. Instinctively she brushed her hand against his. Funny, she never asked him if he could feel in general when he told them that he couldn't feel pain. To what degree could he feel her?

... thinking about that just made her flustered, actually. She skirted away from that thought, "I don't want to see you get hurt. Ever." Which is why she had thrown herself in the way of that attack that came for him. "Especially not because you're protecting me." She was going to get him killed indirectly if he kept it up! The thought of him dying was.. genuinely even more frightening than her nightmares.

Of course he could feel in general. He felt the softness of her hand bereft the sharp thorns behind the energy crackling. He might have flinched at the first sight of the thorns activating around him but that quickly gave way to his desire to be closer to Shionne.

"Then you also know how it is for me. Whenever you got really hurt I just...something inside of me breaks out." Alphen admitted with a frustrated chuckle since he couldn't phrase that any better right now.