Shionne Vymer Imeris Daymore (
silentsuffering) wrote in
midnightstar2021-10-12 08:53 pm
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Shionne and Alphen in Menancia
They've all come a long way since Calaglia, both in terms of distance and... other things. Things Shionne was forcing herself not to acknowledge. Because what would the point be to acknowledge those thoughts when she couldn't act on them - when at the end of this journey, she had no future? Ah... but that was something she hadn't - couldn't - tell the others, who she's begun thinking of as more than just 'tools'.
Particularly Alphen.
It was the hardest to think of him when she knew how much she was keeping from him. Much to her frustration, however, the group had decided to take a break for a little while since Shionne's pace had been pushing the others quite a lot - and they did just gain two new companions. Shionne was avoiding them as much as possible, deciding to go for a walk through the city almost...baffled by how accepting the Dahnans and Renans were.
It was ... nice. But it felt so alien to her, at the same time.
Particularly Alphen.
It was the hardest to think of him when she knew how much she was keeping from him. Much to her frustration, however, the group had decided to take a break for a little while since Shionne's pace had been pushing the others quite a lot - and they did just gain two new companions. Shionne was avoiding them as much as possible, deciding to go for a walk through the city almost...baffled by how accepting the Dahnans and Renans were.
It was ... nice. But it felt so alien to her, at the same time.
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Right, this was going to be impossible while she and Alphen were having this issue. Although she didn't know how to fix it. She never had this problem when she was alone! .... for obvious reasons.
Annoyed, she set the bowl down a little harder than she needed to, startling Law. "Alphen." Guess she's the one to explode!
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"Y-Yes?!" that had actually startled him but luckily he had not dropped his own food as he looked back at Shionne curiously.
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She paced with a touch of anxiety in her steps, arms folded, "What do you want me to say?" 'I'm sorry' wasn't enough - not for her.
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While he was often blunt without intending it, having such a question thrust in his face left Alphen at a loss for words.
"I don't really know. It's not like I want to force you to do anything you don't want to." But he did want to go with her. That much was obvious. now if he could only just say that out loud.
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"Even if I said I..." She paused, "..It's impossible, do you understand?"
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"Why? I don't get the feeling you hate traveling with me or anything like that." They had been sharing more and more moments by the campfire these days, even to the point that Shionne would often join him on the first watch, sitting not too far away as they made idle chatter until one of them got too sleepy.
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"Then why?" He just couldn't understand. He was willing to go with her but she made it sound like that was not even an option without giving him an actual reason for it. Not that the truth would make him quit. If anything he'd insist they make the most of what time they had and not to give up.
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"Traveling with someone you're comfortable with doesn't feel pointless if you ask me." Yes the fact that she didn't touch him didn't bother him. Especially when he remembered some of those instances when they did touch and how filled with wonder she was each time before snapping back.
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"You sound so certain of that." Honestly he was starting to get a little irritated since she kept dodging his question. He had asked WHY. ANd instead she had just said she can't.
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"I don't know about that. Hell I can't make any sense of what you're thinking right now either. So many things you say and things I see about you just don't fit together. It's been making me think a lot more than I have in the past."
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as far as she knew.no subject
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"That's not going to change so I guess I should say sorry ahead of time." Since she's not going to get her wish of him leaving or ignoring her. That was a lost cause from the very beginning.
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She wanted to tell him, that much was true. And though she tried to fight it, a small smile tugged at her lips for a few seconds, her expression softening slightly. "..No, I should say I'm sorry..." Sorry for lying, for keeping something so HUGE from him and the others - sorry for not trusting him enough with that secret.
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"It's fine. As long as you're not being too weighed down by it, I can wait for a moment when you're comfortable with telling me whatever it is that's troubling you.":
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