midnightstar | Shionne and Alphen in Menancia

They've all come a long way since Calaglia, both in terms of distance and... other things. Things Shionne was forcing herself not to acknowledge. Because what would the point be to acknowledge those thoughts when she couldn't act on them - when at the end of this journey, she had no future? Ah... but that was something she hadn't - couldn't - tell the others, who she's begun thinking of as more than just 'tools'.

Particularly Alphen.

It was the hardest to think of him when she knew how much she was keeping from him. Much to her frustration, however, the group had decided to take a break for a little while since Shionne's pace had been pushing the others quite a lot - and they did just gain two new companions. Shionne was avoiding them as much as possible, deciding to go for a walk through the city almost...baffled by how accepting the Dahnans and Renans were.

It was ... nice. But it felt so alien to her, at the same time.

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Shionne would really like him to stop murdering her now thanks. "You're not annoying.." she spent FAR too much time watching and listening to him, she didn't think she'd ever be bored with it. And she couldn't bring herself to lie, and say he was a nuisance or .. anything to make him stop talking to her. "But .. I won't be able to keep traveling with you afterwards. I ...have something else to do." Obviously she was going to have to find a spaceship and go back to Lenegis, right?... She doesn't sound choked up about it, no sir, that's your imagination.

Hard to stop something you don't even know you're doing. Still he didn't expect the flood of relief he felt when she spoke those simple words. She didn't find him annoying. That was great news! Since he often worried his borderline barbarian level of knowledge about the world would have gotten on her nerves after a while.

"Oh. And I guess coming with you won't be an option?" A futile question spoken of innocent ignorance rather than a desire to twist an invisible knife in her already savaged heart.

HFf. Why would he.. She exhaled a sharp 'HA', before turning her back on him, fixing her gaze towards the sky. IF he knew the truth..

"Don't... don't be ridiculous. Of course you can't." She didn't want him to follow her. Even if it was cruel, she would have preferred him to live without her. Before he could get too close. Right now he was only saying that because he knew her longest. .. so she thought. "This is your home."

Again Alphen's shoulder subconsciously slumped ever so slightly.

" I guess that makes sense..." Alphen sighed dejectedly in the end. Though the comment about this being his home didn't quite ring true for some reason. Though he could not yet put his finger on why.

Nope, Nope, she wasn't looking this time! . . . not that she had to when she could /feel/ the disappointment. She glanced down. He really wasn't making this easy for her, and he wasn't even TRYING. "Alphen...trust me you're...better off here. Why would you even want to come with me..?" His friends were here and he's barely managed to explore this world.

That....was actually a really good question. Why did he want to go with her? Alphen had not given it any thought and just blurted the desire to do so as if it was perfectly natural. It WAS perfectly natural in his head.

"I don't really know. Yeah my friends are here and they'll always be here. Just...can't help but feel if I watch you walk away, I might never see you again. " Honestly that was just his conclusion from the mere atmosphere around her. He'd never learned to lie beyond white lies so his thoughts came out unfiltered and they trampled all over Shionne's defenses like a warband of hungry zeugels.

"..alphen.." he would -had to say something so honest and genuine it just broke her heart. Because if she had her way, he wouldn't see her again. She pressed her hand over her mouth for a second to struggle with her own composure. "I..." No.. telling him wouldn't help things. It would only make them worse. "I think I hear Kisara calling you. You should see what she wants." She wasn't going to give him an opportunity to respond though, instead quickly walking away, needing to get as far away from him - and these troublesome thoughts - as possible. She needed to steel herself better or they would never finish their journey.

"Huh? She is?" He said and turned to around to look which only gave her a bigger opening to walk off at top speed. By the time he turned around she was already way too far so chasing after her even at that point would only cause a scene.

"Shionne..." He murmured softly before sighing. That talk did not fix a thing and he was kicking himself for how he handled it.

Shionne was kicking herself also, for that matter. She seemed only able to hurt him, and not just with her thorns now. He was better off without her, if she could just keep him away long enough ... she had no business getting closer to him anyway.

She stayed away from the group for a few hours after that, wandering around in Menancia long enough to try to calm herself down. Eventually she found a bench to sit on, and plunked herself down with a soft sigh, leaning her head back against a tree and staring up towards the darkening sky. She was going to have to rejoin the group sooner or later - leaving right now wasn't an option.

By some twist of fact he did end up called over by Kisara not long after that so he didn't come searching for her until she finally rejoined the group. Kisara herself had picked up on how distracted Alphen was but she did not offer any enlightenment he could use.

So he greeted Shionne with a small smile and wave that didn't quite reach all the way with how awkward things had gotten.

Shionne gave Alphen a similar, awkward smile, but she couldn't meet his gaze for long, glancing away or towards the ground. The both of them were making the atmosphere around the camp at least ten times more awkward. She did need to apologize - although how she was going to do that was another matter entirely. Kisara having prepared dinner for everyone was another worry off their minds. Except when she was eating, she kept glancing over in Alphen's direction when she thought it was safe.

Every now and again his one uncovered eye met with hers while eating before they both looked away again. AT this rate someone was going to explode because of the tension between the two of them.

Even the densest of the group was picking up on the awkward tension, staring at the pair and wondering what was going on between the two of them. Shionne was starting to notice the less than subtle stares from the others, and tensed for a few seconds, looking at her bowl, almost empty of stew.

Right, this was going to be impossible while she and Alphen were having this issue. Although she didn't know how to fix it. She never had this problem when she was alone! .... for obvious reasons.

Annoyed, she set the bowl down a little harder than she needed to, startling Law. "Alphen." Guess she's the one to explode!

He straightened up like a soldier that got called out by his commanding officer when he heard Shionne call his name like that.

"Y-Yes?!" that had actually startled him but luckily he had not dropped his own food as he looked back at Shionne curiously.

"Come with me." She pivoted without waiting - again - for him to even say anything, just assuming he would follow. But she walked out of the Inn nevertheless, into the night air with her arms folded. She'd only gotten a few feet away from the Inn before she tilted her head slightly to see if he was in fact following, before quickly turning away again.

Sure enough he was right on her heels looking lost, surprised and more than a little confused why he'd been called out by Shionne in the middle of mealtime. Still not like he'd ignore her request yet alone the kind of demand she had issued.

.. not letting him finish his food was another reason for her to have to apologize to him apparently. And knowing how she felt about food, that was a huge sin. ".. Look...we still have to work together for a while longer.. but we can't do that as long as things are... strained like this." He really did rub off on her, usually he was the one to insist on them working together.

She paced with a touch of anxiety in her steps, arms folded, "What do you want me to say?" 'I'm sorry' wasn't enough - not for her.

They were going to go in circles at this rate. Especially since it wasn't like the food would go anywhere before they went back to join the others.

While he was often blunt without intending it, having such a question thrust in his face left Alphen at a loss for words.

"I don't really know. It's not like I want to force you to do anything you don't want to." But he did want to go with her. That much was obvious. now if he could only just say that out loud.

Shionne shook her head. "I don't understand why you want to go anywhere with me outside of our mission." No, she did, but she was refusing to acknowledge that.

"Even if I said I..." She paused, "..It's impossible, do you understand?"

Her choice of words really wasn't helping. Especially when he could SENSE she didn't actually mean them. Which only served to frustrate him even more.

"Why? I don't get the feeling you hate traveling with me or anything like that." They had been sharing more and more moments by the campfire these days, even to the point that Shionne would often join him on the first watch, sitting not too far away as they made idle chatter until one of them got too sleepy.

"I don't..!" Shionne gave a slightly frustrated stomp of her foot, "I've... enjoyed traveling with you." It was so hard not to just _TELL_ him. Heck, if she did maybe he'd finally stop trying to get close to her. She glanced at her hand, clenching it into a fist and relaxing it again. She would miss him when she left - it would be hard not to turn around and go back to him.

Alphen could tell that much. But hearing it spoken out loud also helped. Even so it didn't solve the problem that started this entire awkward affair.

"Then why?" He just couldn't understand. He was willing to go with her but she made it sound like that was not even an option without giving him an actual reason for it. Not that the truth would make him quit. If anything he'd insist they make the most of what time they had and not to give up.

God he was infuriatingly .. persistent. She bit her lower lip. Whatever -this- was between the two of them.. even Alphen would have his limits. Who would want to be with someone who couldn't even touch them? She took a step toward him, extending her arm to its full length as if she were about to touch his face - the tell tale crackles of her thorns triggering the moment they came near, and she snatched her hand back. "Because..! Because it would be pointless." They didn't even have a space ship, number one, but more importantly, why follow her to another planet when she was..when death was in her future?

Because he liked being around her, seeing new things together with Shionne. He just found himself just falling into that flow of things so naturally as if they didn't know each other for a mere few weeks.

"Traveling with someone you're comfortable with doesn't feel pointless if you ask me." Yes the fact that she didn't touch him didn't bother him. Especially when he remembered some of those instances when they did touch and how filled with wonder she was each time before snapping back.

With every counter he had for her arguments it was harder and harder for her to come up with excuses for not letting him go with her. And while she was able to touch him once or twice - she couldn't let herself get used to the idea. Even if he didn't want to get closer to her, she wouldn't ..mind being closer to Alphen herself. But not at the cost of the world. "Do you think I've never thought about that possibility..? Being able to just..travel and see the sights..?" With you, goes unsaid. "For me -" She caught herself -- "I just can't."