midnightstar | Shionne and Alphen in Menancia

They've all come a long way since Calaglia, both in terms of distance and... other things. Things Shionne was forcing herself not to acknowledge. Because what would the point be to acknowledge those thoughts when she couldn't act on them - when at the end of this journey, she had no future? Ah... but that was something she hadn't - couldn't - tell the others, who she's begun thinking of as more than just 'tools'.

Particularly Alphen.

It was the hardest to think of him when she knew how much she was keeping from him. Much to her frustration, however, the group had decided to take a break for a little while since Shionne's pace had been pushing the others quite a lot - and they did just gain two new companions. Shionne was avoiding them as much as possible, deciding to go for a walk through the city almost...baffled by how accepting the Dahnans and Renans were.

It was ... nice. But it felt so alien to her, at the same time.

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Yeah he was starting to grow more and more convinced there was something under the surface that Shionne was keeping from him but given how it took some work to get her to talk back even this much, he didn't want to push his luck.

"You know if there's something bothering you, you can always come to me. The least I can do is listen while you let whatever is gnawing at you, out in the open."

How did he always...

"Where did that come from?" Shionne frowned, glancing at him. "The only thing bothering me is knowing we have to wait around here to restock, and there's still two more Lord's we need to take care of. You know that."

Fingers start to drum against her arm as she sighed, "You worry too much."

"I don't know it just feels like something's weighing you down. Orr..no more like pushing you from behind? It's weird I can't really put it into words right I guess. In any case I'm always willing to hear you out so keep that in mind alright? Not like I can really force you to share those things or anything. Just wouldn't feel right if I didn't make it clear." Alphen was after all the type for whom the word NO did not exist in his vocabulary when it came to people in need and Shionne was above that already.

"Hahaha maybe I am. Though I don't think it's at the point of it being a bad thing just yet."

"...why are you always like this...?" Shionne muttered. Because he wasn't wrong - and that was the worst of it. The fact that he was right, that he knew her so well in the time they've been traveling together. That he watched her so closely.. but why? What did it matter? And why did he never look after himself to the same degree? "You should worry more about yourself, you know..!"

"I think I have. I do always come to you for healing whenever I overuse the sword don't I?" That was technically taking care of himself given the lack of pain would have made it easier for him to not realize he had gotten injured.

Looking out for himself and looking out for Shionne were not entirely exclusive things to keep in mind.

Augh. "That's not what I mean..!" Not just healing, but he was taking on the pressure and responsibility of a lot of things, not just freeing the Dahnans from the oppressive rule of several Lords. Although she was also the last person who should be offering a ..figurative shoulder to lean on. "Who do you confide in?"

"Hmmmm....I guess that used to be Zypher before really. Though I do find it easier to talk to you, I'm finding out. Well more like It's easier for me to tell you things I guess if you want to be more specific." He just never really felt the need to keep anything from Shionne. A complete opposite of what she was doing but he had no idea of that so Alphen felt quite content and certain with that answer.

She expected and understood he'd talked to Zephyr often - but that next part.. that he confided in -her- was not something she expected. She stared at him for a second, torn between being happy and being pained, wanting him closer but needing to keep him at a distance. "You..." Her lips pressed together slightly, and she glanced away, "You shouldn't get used to something like that. Do you think I'm going to always be around?" She forced the words out, scoffing.

That takes the wind out of his sails a bit and his smile slips.

"Ah...yeah I guess I shouldn't presume that would be the case... It's rude to think you'd want to stay just because you clearly didn't like where you were to begin with. I'm sorry. That was selfish of me" Leave it to Alphen to unintentionally guilt trip someone while looking a bit like a kicked puppy.

Oh damnit. She didn't think he'd take it like that.. she definitely didn't mean to upset him. And that kicked puppy look hurt in ways she didn't know she could hurt. "I.." She took a step forward, raising a hand, then pulled it away again. "..I didn't mean it like that...I'm sorry..."

"I don't... dislike it that much." This planet had so much greenery and beautiful landscapes it was breathtaking -- and then there was him. If not for the thorns and the Contest she would have loved to travel with him. "I just..meant that we..." She paused, "We wouldn't have any reason to continue working together once the Lords were defeated.. it's only natural we would go our separate ways. Right?"

Alphen wasn't even trying to guilt trip her or anything. He was just the kind of fool who wore his heart on his sleeve. WHich was exactly the worst match up for Shionne to go up against. Since she couldn't even ATTEMPT to doubt his words.

"I don't think so. I mean yeah our I guess you could call it a deal from when we first met would come to an end but nothing says we have to go our own ways if we don't really want to. Though I guess you might find me annoying after a while so I shouldn't be speaking for you." There was a limit to being considerate of others and Alphen had yet to discover it.

Shionne would really like him to stop murdering her now thanks. "You're not annoying.." she spent FAR too much time watching and listening to him, she didn't think she'd ever be bored with it. And she couldn't bring herself to lie, and say he was a nuisance or .. anything to make him stop talking to her. "But .. I won't be able to keep traveling with you afterwards. I ...have something else to do." Obviously she was going to have to find a spaceship and go back to Lenegis, right?... She doesn't sound choked up about it, no sir, that's your imagination.

Hard to stop something you don't even know you're doing. Still he didn't expect the flood of relief he felt when she spoke those simple words. She didn't find him annoying. That was great news! Since he often worried his borderline barbarian level of knowledge about the world would have gotten on her nerves after a while.

"Oh. And I guess coming with you won't be an option?" A futile question spoken of innocent ignorance rather than a desire to twist an invisible knife in her already savaged heart.

HFf. Why would he.. She exhaled a sharp 'HA', before turning her back on him, fixing her gaze towards the sky. IF he knew the truth..

"Don't... don't be ridiculous. Of course you can't." She didn't want him to follow her. Even if it was cruel, she would have preferred him to live without her. Before he could get too close. Right now he was only saying that because he knew her longest. .. so she thought. "This is your home."

Again Alphen's shoulder subconsciously slumped ever so slightly.

" I guess that makes sense..." Alphen sighed dejectedly in the end. Though the comment about this being his home didn't quite ring true for some reason. Though he could not yet put his finger on why.

Nope, Nope, she wasn't looking this time! . . . not that she had to when she could /feel/ the disappointment. She glanced down. He really wasn't making this easy for her, and he wasn't even TRYING. "Alphen...trust me you're...better off here. Why would you even want to come with me..?" His friends were here and he's barely managed to explore this world.

That....was actually a really good question. Why did he want to go with her? Alphen had not given it any thought and just blurted the desire to do so as if it was perfectly natural. It WAS perfectly natural in his head.

"I don't really know. Yeah my friends are here and they'll always be here. Just...can't help but feel if I watch you walk away, I might never see you again. " Honestly that was just his conclusion from the mere atmosphere around her. He'd never learned to lie beyond white lies so his thoughts came out unfiltered and they trampled all over Shionne's defenses like a warband of hungry zeugels.

"..alphen.." he would -had to say something so honest and genuine it just broke her heart. Because if she had her way, he wouldn't see her again. She pressed her hand over her mouth for a second to struggle with her own composure. "I..." No.. telling him wouldn't help things. It would only make them worse. "I think I hear Kisara calling you. You should see what she wants." She wasn't going to give him an opportunity to respond though, instead quickly walking away, needing to get as far away from him - and these troublesome thoughts - as possible. She needed to steel herself better or they would never finish their journey.

"Huh? She is?" He said and turned to around to look which only gave her a bigger opening to walk off at top speed. By the time he turned around she was already way too far so chasing after her even at that point would only cause a scene.

"Shionne..." He murmured softly before sighing. That talk did not fix a thing and he was kicking himself for how he handled it.

Shionne was kicking herself also, for that matter. She seemed only able to hurt him, and not just with her thorns now. He was better off without her, if she could just keep him away long enough ... she had no business getting closer to him anyway.

She stayed away from the group for a few hours after that, wandering around in Menancia long enough to try to calm herself down. Eventually she found a bench to sit on, and plunked herself down with a soft sigh, leaning her head back against a tree and staring up towards the darkening sky. She was going to have to rejoin the group sooner or later - leaving right now wasn't an option.

By some twist of fact he did end up called over by Kisara not long after that so he didn't come searching for her until she finally rejoined the group. Kisara herself had picked up on how distracted Alphen was but she did not offer any enlightenment he could use.

So he greeted Shionne with a small smile and wave that didn't quite reach all the way with how awkward things had gotten.

Shionne gave Alphen a similar, awkward smile, but she couldn't meet his gaze for long, glancing away or towards the ground. The both of them were making the atmosphere around the camp at least ten times more awkward. She did need to apologize - although how she was going to do that was another matter entirely. Kisara having prepared dinner for everyone was another worry off their minds. Except when she was eating, she kept glancing over in Alphen's direction when she thought it was safe.

Every now and again his one uncovered eye met with hers while eating before they both looked away again. AT this rate someone was going to explode because of the tension between the two of them.

Even the densest of the group was picking up on the awkward tension, staring at the pair and wondering what was going on between the two of them. Shionne was starting to notice the less than subtle stares from the others, and tensed for a few seconds, looking at her bowl, almost empty of stew.

Right, this was going to be impossible while she and Alphen were having this issue. Although she didn't know how to fix it. She never had this problem when she was alone! .... for obvious reasons.

Annoyed, she set the bowl down a little harder than she needed to, startling Law. "Alphen." Guess she's the one to explode!

He straightened up like a soldier that got called out by his commanding officer when he heard Shionne call his name like that.

"Y-Yes?!" that had actually startled him but luckily he had not dropped his own food as he looked back at Shionne curiously.